Selflessness vs "making time for yourself"

This great article about Making Time for Yourself started me thinking:

I've spent a long time being confused about whether it is more virtuous giving all of yourself or if, really, the virtue lies in "taking me-time."  I grew up fairly privileged, and with not too much asked of me.  Perhaps because of growing up in this way,  I found that I yearned for opportunities to give, and had difficulty putting up boundaries during those instances when someone decided to continuously take.  Partly, I was unsure about where the line lay between generosity and giving too much, if such a thing exists.  But, mostly, I found that I liked, and genuinely wanted, to give of myself.  From reading what pass as women's magazines and listening to the culture, I also began to feel like that was weak, or wrong, or something like that.

One of the best things about coming into the Church has been learning that it's wonderful to give, to be vulnerable, to open yourself up to being hurt, burned, exhausted, and drained.  That's what Jesus did.  And, God will give the necessary graces to help you when you just can't do what he has set before you on your own.

I read something once, though, which helped me define a line after which I should stop giving...at least for the moment.  I can't remember where I read this, but the author, and I believe it was a saint, suggested that attempting to be far more virtuous than you actually are is presumptuous.  In other words, you shouldn't try to go from 1 to 100 (or 33 to 100 or whatever the case may be) in an instant.  Part of humility is understanding where you truly are in this or that virtue and working from there.

Therefore, if I am a person who gives of myself 75% of the day, then maybe I should try bumping that up to 80%.  In other words, I should always be challenging myself.  But, all of the sudden deciding, and expecting, to be the type of person who gives of myself 100% of the day, is actually me being prideful, dishonest (to myself and perhaps others about who I am), and presumptuous.

Therefore, growth in virtue requires an honest accounting of where you are, followed by an earnest attempt to push oneself just a little bit further on a daily basis.  This means that, for someone like me who has actually had quite a lot of "me-time" in my life, I have to admit that deficit in selflessness in order to change it.  That admission includes expecting that not getting my "me time" will make me want to be cranky, frivolously purchase lattes, etc.  It also means, that, where possible, I will need to make some "me-time" but it's only because I can't be instantly better than I am and, unfortunately, I was spoiled by "me-time" growing up.

Where the culture gets it completely wrong, is that they want us to go backwards.  They want us to reclaim the vice we have already fought and won against.  "Me-time" ought to be considered a concession to our humanity, our fallen nature, rather than the courageous act of empowerment implied by Dove Chocolate commercials (not that I've ever been against Dove chocolate).

Speaking of courage, I also think that the current culture gets it wrong when it forgets that the human heart is one that longs for the heroic.  We all know, deep inside, whether or not we really have given selflessly to our limit, an act of heroism, and it makes us feel fulfilled, strong, and lifts our self-esteem.  A woman who pours all of herself out to others, as a gracious gift of self, knows that she is pleasing to God.  In that, women develop a sense of dignity, and steady confidence, much more real and based on a much more solid foundation, than because they managed to take their "me-time" that day.

That being said, the baby's asleep and my husband is working on a paper...I'm going to take a bubble bath.